Reunion

 

I graduated from Melbourne University in 1979 as a real life dentist.

 

Thirty years later we had a reunion. I was lucky enough to give a small speech. I was even luckier to keep a copy.  This is it:

 

I would like to begin by thanking the organizing committee

A few years ago, I was talking to JC about referring patients.  He mentioned all the people he referred to and they were all his old class mates. I told him that was nonsense you should refer to the best person for each patient. Each patient was different. He said it was much easier to pick up the phone and talk to these people. Communication was easier. He was right. In the trenches at uni there is a bond forged.  

This is why I am here tonight. Because of that bond. 

 

We flew over here. Which reminds me of a joke.

 

A general dentist and an orthodontist find themselves sitting next to each other on a plane. The orthodontist thinks we might as well try and be friends. I’ll offer to go up and get this guy a drink.

The minute he goes the general dentist grabs the headphones and changes the channel and then turns the volume up to maximum.

The orthodontist returns and gives the drink to the general dentist. They drink together, chat and then settle down to relax.

The orthodontist puts on his headphones and then turns to his mate and says,” When are we ever going to get on? When are we are going to stop playing games with each other. Playing with the radios and spitting in the drinks.”

 

 

As we were coming her tonight, I had to prepare my wife.

I had to try and explain why B, B and C don’t have first names.  They all called by their surnames.

I had to try and explain why when we got to choose a research group in final year everybody in my group had a surname starting with B or C. It was because we were always seated alphabetical. From B to Z.

 

Did I achieve my aim?

35 years ago, I sat in an incredibly steep lecture theatre, furiously scribbling on a note pad, staring at the revolving blackboards and wondering,” What has this got to do with dentistry?”

I had two aims. To pass the next assignment and to have my own dental practice. Actually, it was three but my wife sits over there. 

 

Would I do the same again?

The best way to answer this is:

Would you recommend your own child do dentistry?

One of my daughters said to me,” Can I talk to you?”

I said, “Sure.”

My daughter said, “I’m thinking of doing dentistry. Can you tell me the good things about dentistry? Why should I do dentistry?”

That was my chance. I told her all about dentistry. What it involved. Why it was good. Why I enjoyed it. Why she should consider it.

A day later she came to me and said, “I’ve decided to do something else.”

 

As we were coming her tonight I had to prepare my wife. She’s the one with marginal staining on a cervical abrasive cavity in the 24.

Tell her what she can say. Mention the children doing well at Uni. No mention of lack of academic success. She may be doing very happy and enjoy her life but we don’t mention her.

Yes you can mention our grandchildren. That’s alright. But not all bloody night.

 

I was just confirming what she could and couldn’t say when I realised that’s she going to hear a lot of stories.  So, I had to go and deny everything she might hear. None of what you hear tonight is true. It never happened.  

 

I had to explain to my wife the difference between specialise or generalise.  Some people have fixed on their specialty in kindergarten. Others fell into a specialty.  For some of us it is incredibly important.  Not for her.

 

How many specialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One but he needs a general dentist to tell him what the problem is.

Or alternatively none. He gets his receptionist to change it.

 

The other big question:  Am I successful?

My wife thinks a successful practice is one where:

 

The dentist buys a piece of equipment and never uses it.

A patient urinates into the spittoon?

The patient bites the dentist’s finger and the dentist feints onto the floor of the surgery.

The dentist has so many different composite systems on the go at once the nurses are permanently confused.

A patient gets trapped in the toilet and the dentist crashes the door to break the lock.

 

All around me I see people who achieved a lot or succeeded in general practice, academically; in research; private specialist practice; in administration; parenting and other non-dental areas.

You have achieved lot in the last 30 years. Be proud.

Tonight is a night to renew old friendships. Make new friends. 

And, please, don’t forget the absent people.

If you meet them extend hand of friendship. They may need it.

Thank you for listening.

 

Enjoy yourselves.

 

Alan Carlton

 

 

Cornelian Bay

 Cornelian Bay is a small bay on the Derwent River in Hobart, Tasmania.  My tennis club is due to lunch down there. I am lucky enough to give a small talk.

 

Hobart was settled by the British in 1804. When was Cornelian Bay named?

1793: River was called Rivière du Nord by the French admiral Bruni d’Entrecasteaux. A couple of months later  John Hayes named the river after the River Derwent in England. The name Derwent is Celtic for valley thick with oaks.  

1793: Lieutenant Hayes: Carnelian stones.

Carnelian is a brown-red mineral coloured with iron oxide. Colour is between pale orange and intense black.

Cornelian Bay is not named after a person who never came here or a foreign place.

1804: Collins started a Government Farm at Cornelian Bay (north side) to supply the rest of the colony with food. Manned by 30 convicts.

1807: 23 acres of wheat.

13 acres of barley.

153 cattle.

301 sheep.

1813: Land granted to Andrew Whitehead. 

1818: Governor Sorell bought Whitehead’s farm and leased the farm back to Whitehead. 

1810: Governor David Collins was buried in St David’s Cemetery. 

1804-1872: People were buried next to churches or under vacant land. Some of this land is now schools.

1872: Cornelian Bay cemetery opened. All other cemeteries were closed.  900 people were buried in St David’s Cemetery which is now St Davids Park. Some were reburied. Some left under the garden beds and lawns. Some in memorials.

Cornelian Bay cemetery was designed so that there should be a separate section for Roman Catholic, Methodist, Congregational, Presbyterian, Jewish or Quaker. Today there are other special sections including War Graves, Garden of Remembrance and the Crematorium Gardens.
A separate pauper’s burial area was reserved for the poor, where up to eleven bodies could share one unmarked grave. This section was closed in 1935 but it is estimated that about 5000 people are buried there.Through the years, there have been about 100,000 burials at Cornelian Bay – today, plenty of sites remain available,Famous graves: bushranger Martin Cash; George Adams, founder of Tattersalls; and Tenis Sterio, the king of the world’s gypsy communities, who died in Hobart in 1943.

 

1892: The first boatshed was built by Sir John Stokell Dodds.

Attorney General, treasurer, judge of supreme court, chief justice, lieutenant-governor, chancellor of UTS.

1895: Rev Palyfreyman applied to build the second one. Unlike Sir John he had to get permission. He spent years writing and meeting with the Hobart Marine Board (controlled the water), and Hobart City Council (controlled the land).

Eventually he received permission.

1913: Marine Board of Hobart ‘Regulation Type of Boat Shed’

10 x 12 feet (3.05m x 3.66m).

Timber construction, to have a shallow-pitched gable roof clad in corrugated galvanised iron, with exposed rafter ends, a timber finial and bargeboard,

1913: Six boatsheds existed.

By the 1930s there had been 38 successful applications to build a boatshed.  

Most of the boatsheds were built in the 1920s or 1930s.

The early boatsheds were mainly owned and built by Tasmanians living inland as a place for recreation and relaxation. 

Fishing from the sheds used to be common.

Today fishing is infrequent. People are reluctant to fish. The story is that toxic metals in the river make the local ground dwelling fish unsafe and unhealthy to eat. Fish passing through are safe to eat. Seals and dolphins can be seen eating the local fish.

When you buy a shed, you do not buy the land beneath it. It is water.

Initially the council provided 99-year leases.

The council changed it to annual leases. This resulted in no maintenance done on the sheds and continual talk of the end of the boatsheds and the need to demolish them all.

Currently the sheds have a 25-year lease with Hobart City Council.

 The boatsheds are on the heritage register. They cannot be demolished.

Any maintenance or change to the boatshed has to be within guidelines.

Heritage register guidelines are:

External cladding to be weatherboards in bull-nosed profile.

Paint to be a strong color with no uniformity.

Window replacement should be in painted timber.

Doors should be simple timber.

Roofs maintained with corrugated iron

No additions outside the envelope of the building.  No satellite dishes, solar panels and water tanks.

 Next to the boathouses baths, changing rooms and diving board were built by the Hobart City Council in the late 1800s. and given to Cornelian Bay Aquatic club in 1978.

1927: a slipway built next to baths.

Swimming carnivals at the baths.

 1999: Boatshed Restaurant was built.

 2009: The baths and diving board were destroyed by a fire.

 

ten years ago..

 

A: Nice to see you. Please let’s go back ten years.

J: Yep.

A: To November 2015. On a Wednesday we did scale and cleans, recall exams and a few fillings. And then I went; played tennis; went home to bed and woke up after two weeks in ICU.

J: Yep.

A: Thursday what were you thinking?

J: This is be something you probably want remember. 2015 was a very significant year for me as well.  I actually had some emergency surgery which was a big operation and I was off work at the time. The interesting thing for me was nobody told me. Because I was recovering from a big operation. One of the DA’s contacted me.

J: I immediately contacted Lorna (Alan’s partner) and said what can I do?

J: I came back to work early. To manage the patients as best I could. You were a ridiculously busy man.

A: What were you told?

J: A lot of it was unknown. Lorna wanted to play things a day at a time. She thought you would wake up and be okay. And it wasn’t until after you woke up, we were able to get a better picture of what was happening. It was four or five weeks before I was able to come and visit you. You were insisting you wanted to see me.

A: Did you come and visit me?

J: I did. Things were different for you. You suffered a brain injury. And you were fixated on one topic. Which was as soon as I walked in the door you told me you wanted to sell the practice.

J: The other thing I remember is you tried on a few occasions to escape from the ward because you didn’t want to be there so when I was leaving you said I’ll just come with you and I thought you actually can’t.

A: They eventually let me out.

A: Well one day, in hospital, I said to Jo (my daughter) I’d better get back to work. I’m sure the patients are building up. And she said you are not going back to work. You are retired. So, I looked around the ward and thought have to sell the practice.

J: I returned to work and helped Lorna to manage the patients as best we could.

A: When you buy a practice, they come back to see the nurse.

J: Interesting that you say that. Because that was a massive concern for your patients.  When they called, they would say is Jodi still there. I’m not coming back if Jodi’s not there. I would have to reassure them.

J: Well, we built rapport and I worked for you for fourteen years so I built relationships with these people as well. I was a familiar face. They built a relationship with me as well.

A: When you had a regular patient come in what would you do?

J: Some of them would panic and say what would I do. All I could do was reassure them, the practice was taken over, their records were here, we were going to have some lovely dentists who they could see and that I would help them transition be on site or be chairside. And lots of them did need reassurance. They were asking me for my personal opinion.

J: Like are you sure this person is okay. And would you see them. it was a massive change for them. Because they had been seeing the same person for twenty plus years.

A: It was also a change for me, you and Lorna.

J: It was a significant change for a lot of us. For me I had worked with the same person for fourteen years and then I needed to move into a situation where there were a lot of dentists. And a lot of other staff.

A: Your job changed.

J: Initially I was chairside a lot because Dr Fernando didn’t know me and I didn’t know him and as time went on, he realised I had a skill set that maybe other staff didn’t so my role developed.

A: Do you do any chairside assisting now?

J: Every now and again they may get a patient who is particularly challenging and a few months ago one of our dentists asked me if I would help him with a particularly challenging patient and I said absolutely. She turned out to be my granddaughter.

(Ha ha ha.)

A: The practice is still going well. 

They have changed where I used to work

 Sometimes when you retire you return to your place of previous employment.

Well, this is the way it went for me.

In 1994 I started a dental surgery in the middle of Hobart.  I worked there for about twenty years. It was my practice.  The practice I created. I put my life into it. It resonated with my personality. My personality was my dental practice.

Today I am taking one of my grandchildren to the dentist. To see a dentist working where I used to work.  In the same room with the same chair.

The waiting room has changed. A new screen for the computer. That’s new and better. They had to change that. Gertrude, my grandchild starts arranging the toys on the floor. I aim for the pile of magazines.

There is another man waiting. I greet him.  Things used to be different. I used to work here and he would occasionally visit me.   Now we sit side by side. We have to find something to talk about. We can’t talk about his teeth. That topic has gone. It’s now forbidden.

Another patient arrives. She greets me cheerfully and says, “When are you going to come back?”

I say, “I am never coming back. I enjoyed my time here. But now it’s time for someone else to work here and time for me to do something else.”

Gertrude is called into the surgery. I follow. The much wiped chair is central to the room.  The ceiling is just the way I arranged it. Replete with pictures that I placed there.  Wow I remember that picture of Dexter. That dog is dead now.

What’s that machine over there? That’s new.  What have they done with this room? They have altered it.  They did that without asking me. They are treating it like they own the place.

They must look out for that autoclave. It can be unpredictable. You can tell by the noise it makes. I must tell them about the air-conditioner. How to control the apparently uncontrollable air-conditioner.  And that drawer is a perfect spot for the bibs. 

When working as a dentist you often see and inherit the work of another dentist. Broken fillings. Failed crowns or rampant decay. I wonder what they are seeing. They are seeing all my old work. What are they thinking of it.  How is my work coping?  

I felt like a retired cricketer commentating on the cricket. He should be standing slightly more upright. That would help him counter the extra bounce.

Today I no longer have the urge to tell them what to do. I have gone past being an expert commentator. I no longer feel I should tell them anything. I sit back and think, “Do whatever you want. It’s your practice - do it your way. You will make mistakes and you will learn from them.”

The dentist seeing Gertrude has the nightmare of working with me watching her. Gertrude sits on the chair and the chair changes shape. She wears sunglasses and a bib.  She is very happy as she gets her teeth polished and cleaned and then she receives some stickers.

I am not sure how much the dentist working here knows about me. Does she realise her job and this place depends on me? Does she know that without me that chair would not be there? She would be working elsewhere.

Well, I know that, today, this practice would be nothing without her.  The current owners and staff have taken the tree I planted, watered it, fed it and nurtured it. Without them it would be dead. They have given the practice life. New enthusiastic ways of doing things.

This practice needs us both. And one day it may need someone else.

Walking down the stairs I am very happy to see the practice functioning so well. I am happy to see so many patients who have moved on. They are now seeing somebody else and are happy with their new dentist. I am happy not to be missed. 

You asked me, “What’s it like being retired?

 Dear Bob,

 

You asked me, “What’s it like being retired?  What you should I do when I retire?”

Bob, perhaps you can begin by deciding what you want other people to call you. A lot of people describe themselves by what they used to do.  Retired doctor, retired teacher, retired plumber or retired footballer.   Sometimes I go that way. I am a retired dentist.  Personally, I don’t want to be described by what I used to be. I prefer not to be called a retired dentist.

Bob, a big issue of me was deciding when to shave. I couldn’t get it right. When working I used to shave every working day and never at the weekend. When retired I initially tried to shave when I had to. When the stubble irritated me, I would shave. It hurt and was difficult.  Was a beard the solution? I don’t think so. It would change my appearance and irritate me. My solution is shaving every day. Being retired I now shave more than when I worked.

Bob you also have to work out what clothes to wear.  When working I had clothes and shoes I walked to work in. When I arrived, I took off my walking shoes and clothes and put my work attire on. Now I am fancy free to wear anything anytime.  Your clothes tell the world who you are.

Bob, in the morning, you have to work out when to get out of bed? You can’t have a relaxed sleep-in every day. It won’t work.

Previously I had a routine for lunch. I always had the same lunch at the same time. I was predictable. Now I have to think about lunch. Nowadays when I have lunch I line everything up on the bench. When working I would not move until all the instruments were ready and waiting and in the right spot.  Now that I am retired, I don’t start my lunch until everything is out in the right spot, Clean, tidy and ready.

Bob, another issue is the days of the week change. When working you often have 5 days of work followed by 2 days of weekend rest to get ready for the next week of work.  When retired you cannot divide your week into working days and resting days. Every day is the same.

Bob, also, when you retire your work social network, which includes the lady you buy coffee from, disappears.  

Retirement has taught me is more about my working life. When working all teeth are the same. Teeth are teeth irrespective of your sex or race. All teeth are the same. All people are different. When working I tried to treat my patients all unique individuals. I tried to treat them with respect. I abhorred stereotypes.  When I met people, I didn’t think of a stereotype based on age, sex, sexuality, physical or mental disability, race, appearance, education, clothes. My philosophy was as a dentist we provide dental services for everyone. Accept all without prejudice or pre conceptions. This attitude towards people has followed me into retirement land.

When working I knew what I was going today.  I looked at the day list and new what I was doing at 4:00pm. Now in the morning I like to know what I am going to do at 2:30. I need to know my appointments for the day.

Bob, when working I was always assessed. When working I always had someone to tell me if I’d done a good job or not. I always had something to work on or to improve.  At the end of the week, I could see my results for the week. I had a record of what I had achieved. Now I have no idea if had retired well. If I had a good week of retirement. How to succeed at being retired.

Another thing I have found in retirement is a lack of status. One day I was owning, running, working in a dental practice in the center of Hobart. The signs outside displayed my name to the world. I had constant daily feedback telling me that I existed. The feedback was always about me. Now nothing. I now do many things which are un-noticed. Things which don’t result in any feedback.

Perhaps my problem is I was unavoidably the boss. Now I am not the boss. I just have to get used to it. Stop complaining and get on with life.

Bob, should you become a volunteer. Join an organization and help people. I can now see that this would give you goals; a purpose and reaffirmed my worth. It will constantly tell you that you are important and needed.  You will receive a Christmas card, sign the farewell card, be missed if you sleep in, get public holidays and weekends off and do something the community needs. You can go this way. You need to find an organization who needs you as much as you need them.

Bob, I have noticed how hobbies either expand or disappear.  Some hobbies were an escape or release from working. They disappear.  Other hobbies expand. Be flexible and ready to adjust your life.

Bob, I still go on holiday. Retirement purportedly means you are on continuous holiday. No commitments. But I find I need a break from endless similar repetitive days.  Probably why so many retirees spend so much time travelling. When other retirees talk about their coming cruise I join in. Why not?

Bob, I don’t need to tell you, family and friends are important. I know you know that. You will see more of your family. I know for you that is not a problem. 

Bob, I will have to mention money. Do you have enough money to do everything you want to do?  Do what I do.  I alter my goals or aims to fit with the money available.  My goal is to do what I can afford to do.

Nothing I do is related to money. I do the things I enjoy. It is a great feeling to have. I do what I want to. Sounds good but not absolutely accurate. The reality is I do lots of things I would rather not. Things that involve fitting in with my social network.

Bob, the most important thing is to find yourself. Then you can work out what to do. During my working life my personality was related to my work. You couldn’t separate me from my work. I was a dentist. 

When retired I needed to find out what I am if you take my job away. 

And get ready for people who say, “What do you do all day?

You can reply with, “I’m just as busy as ever.”

You may be but I am not as busy as ever. Life is easier.

Retirement means entering a land that stretches forever in all directions. The land full of limitless possibilities. Deciding what to do in this land is difficult and terrifying but also potentially more exciting and wondrous.

Entering retirement land, I wasn’t handed a script telling me what to do. I had to ad lib. Make it up as I went.

Bob. Be footloose and fancy free. You can do anything you want.

 

Kind regards, Alan

 

When is the best time to plant a tree?

 There is a saying which goes like this:

When is the best time to plant a tree?

The answer is. The best time is twenty years ago.

Which leads us to another question. When is the best time to decide what you are going to do when retired?

The answer is basically the same. Start planning the retirement phase of your life a long time before you enter retirement.

Hopefully retirement happens to everybody. Hopefully everyone enters this phase of their life.  When working I put money into my super fund in order to minimise tax. I never thought about it. I saw a lot of patients who were retired. They all said they were busier than ever.

I entered retirement suddenly and without thinking about it.

In 2016 most days were pretty normal. Including a Wednesday in October.  I followed my normal routine. I went to work in my dental practice; in the evening I played tennis; then I went home and went to bed. A pretty normal day.

I woke up two weeks later lying on my back in a bed in the RHH.

I immediately thought, “I am doing nothing. The work will be piling up. I’d better get back to work.” 

I was then told. “You aren’t going back to work. You are now retired.”

In the next few weeks my wife spent a lot of time visiting her now retired husband. One day she showed me a piece of paper and asked me to sign it. This I did.

The next day she said, “You have now sold your dental practice.”

When I found myself retired everybody treated me differently. They no longer treated me as a dentist. They treated me as retired.

I started reading about retirement. The articles were always the same. Discussed money. Articles written by funds trying to get you to put money into their fund. Articles written by government workers telling people to prepare for retirement by preparing financially.

I never saw an article about retirement written by someone who was actually retired. That is the way they are treated. You are old and incapable of. We will tell you what to do.

Retirement is more than buying a retirement house on the coast. Away from your present problems. An idyllic spot to enjoy your retirement.

Think about what you are going to do in your retirement. It involves more than doing your hobby fulltime. It involves more than doing more than playing more golf, doing more joinery, joining a book club.

Retirement involves your social network. Some people disappear. Some of your social network will remain. What remains will change.  You will find everybody in your social network is now different. You don’t need to get a new partner. They are there next to you.

Being healthy and fit cannot be suddenly turned on the minute you retire. You can’t do anything unless you are healthy enough. Somethings cannot be avoided. Some cancers or trauma. But a lot of cardiac and pulmonary maladies can be lessened by your lifestyle when working.

Start thinking about being a fit and healthy retiree now.

I can now say, “I am retired.” Not proudly, sorta of softly. I am thinking like a retired person, not an infirm person forced by medical issues to stop working. What does that mean?

 

 

After continually hearing the word retired I decided I don’t want to be called retired and treated the way everybody treats retired people.

I have listened to the word retired and the way it was used.  The word retired is always followed by another word saying what you used to do.  It ignores the future. It ignores what you do and where you are going. It says the best years are behind you; Your life is finished. Sit there quietly and don’t annoy anyone.

The word retired looks backwards and contains the word tired.  It tells retired people to sit quietly. Don’t make a fuss. Take these tablets. They’ll make you feel better. Be careful crossing the road.

For me the word retirement means freedom.

Traditionally the word freedom has meant Bob Dylan; Easy Rider; guitars, backpacking; jeans and boots. With the soundtrack playing Janis Joplin singing “Me and Bobby McGee.”  

Well, I’ve been both young and old and being retired is the freest I have even been. When I was young, I never felt as free as now. When wearing jeans and tie-die t-shirts I was always aware of things I had to achieve or do. I had to pass another exam; get a job; buy a house; go to parent teacher interviews.

Freedom belongs to us baby boomers; grey nomads; tracksuits; running shoes; campervans; mobile homes; and deck chairs. The soundtrack is ACDC, John Farnham; Jimmy Barnes; Golden Oldies or Hits and Memories. 

We are the free people. We are footloose and fancy free. We are the people who can do anything we want.