Chapter 92 : Retirement : I am learning on the job

Dear Bob,      

You asked me, “What’s it like being retired.  What you should I do when I retire?”

I would love to help you but I can’t. I am retired and have absolutely no idea what retired people do.

I spent 5 years at Uni and the first 5 years of work learning how to work as a dentist. Perhaps after 10 years of retirement I will know how to be retired. It is like getting a driving license. After getting your license you learn how to drive.

I am retired not tired.  I look on retirement as a different phase I will go through. It will be different from what I expect but I plan on finding out about it, not retiring from life.

Bob, first you have to think about what you want other people to call you. A lot of people describe themselves by what they used to do.  Retired doctor, retired teacher, retired plumber or retired footballer.   Sometimes I go that way. I am a retired dentist.  Now I don’t want to be described by what I used to do. I prefer not to be called a retired dentist.

I used to be a dentist. They used to stop me in the cereal aisle of the supermarket, open their mouth and say, “What should I do about this tooth?” Now when I shop they expect me to get out of their way.

Bob, when retired you have to work out when to shave.  And what clothes to wear. Do you want to look like someone who has a job or someone who is retired?  What is today going to be?

Previously I had a routine for lunch. I always had lunch at the same time. I was predictable. Now I have to think about lunch. Footloose, fancy free and floundering.

Bob, you have to work out when to get up.  I don’t know if my alarm clock has also retired. I’ve never used it.  Now I have to work out when to get up. Or if.

Bob you have to work out what clothes to wear.  When working I had my certain clothes and shoes I walked to work. When I arrived I took off my walking shoes and clothes and put my work attire on. Now I am fancy free to wear anything anytime.  Freedom just another word for confused.

Bob, when retired you learn about your working life.

When I worked as a dentist all teeth are the same. As a dentist I never discriminated or preferred certain races or sexes. Now I cannot understand bias based on sex or race. It just completely perplexes me.

Nowadays before I have lunch I line everything up on the bench. I don’t start until everything is out in the right spot and ready.

When working I knew what I was going to do on Wednesday week at 3:00 pm.  Now in the morning I like to know what I am going to do at 2:30. I need to know my appointments for the day.

Bob, when working I was always assessed. When working I always had someone to tell me if I’d done a good job or not. I always had something to work on or to improve.  Now I have no idea how to succeed. How to do a good job. I have to mark myself. I give myself a mark for mowing the lawn or putting out the garbage. I did a good job. Next time I can put the bin further up the road away from the parked car.

Bob, you will need a reason for getting out of bed.  Some purpose or meaning to your life. At times I have thought nobody depends on me. Nobody needs me. Nobody cares.  If you can solve this then please tell me.

You could go the way a lot of people go.  Become a volunteer. Belong to an organization. You will receive a christmas card, sign the farewell card, be missed if you sleep in, get public holidays and weekends off and do something the community needs. You can go this way. You need to find an organization who needs you as much as you need them.

Bob, I have noticed how hobbies either expand or disappear.  Some hobbies were my escape or release from working. They have now disappeared.  Other hobbies have expanded. Be flexible and ready to adjust your life.

Bob, I still go on holiday. Retirement purportedly means you are on continuous holiday. No commitments. But I find I need a break from endless similar repetitive days.  Probably why so many retirees spend so much time travelling. When other retirees talk about their coming cruise I join in. Why not?

Bob, I don’t need to tell you, family and friends are important. I know you and you know that. You will see more of your family. I know for you that is not a problem.  You will no longer be able to avoid them. You can’t say, “I can’t do that. I have to go to work.  I’ve got some letters I need to finish.”

Bob, I will have to mention money. Do you have enough money to do everything you want to do?  Do what I do.  I alter my goals or aims to fit the money available.  My goal is to do what I can afford to do.

And now you are retired be happy. All your excuses have gone. You can’t complain about anything. Don’t be a grumpy old man.

And all your excuses have gone. I’ll organize my record collection when I retire. That excuse has gone. 

And get ready for people who say, “What do you do all day?

You can reply with, “I’m just as busy as ever.”

You may be but I am not as busy as ever. Life is easier.

Chapter 91 : Not ball tampering

I watch the clouds attracted to the mountain. I ponder what animals they resemble and whether they will lead to rain. Will the rain be enough to stop us playing tennis? It was raining last night and a few puddles linger but they don’t restrict us.

A fence separates the birds in surrounding trees from the game of tennis. The tennis lines mark the limit of our game.  The court is a soft, smooth, comfortable surface. The net divides the court into two opposing areas.

I amble in. I am now number three. We can play tennis when number four turns up. I peer towards the car park looking for number four. Trying to see who it will be.  

Number four turns up and now we decide who is playing with who. And who is against who.  After one set we can either change partners or go for revenge.

The game starts when I throw the ball up and serve the ball down the middle of the court.  The guy receiving the ball hits the ball into the net and says, “You tampered the ball.”

We all have a good laugh. No serious cultural issues here. We are here to play sport.  We are with our friends to play sport.

The players are all different. A lady who slices everything. Every shot she returns low and short. She doesn’t move that quickly so I will try to make her move. I will attack her weakness.

A lady who hits every ball hard. She belts everything. She has a good volley. Very strong and sure. Never doubt her volley. Be wary if opposing her and confident if partnering her. Very friendly lady, I don’t doubt that.

And the final guy is just good at everything. He can play short or long. Spin it or hit it hard. Run or volley it. Everything he touches is good. And he is not arrogant or boastful. When you do a good shot he says, “Good shot.”

When the ball hits the net and drops over he says, “Sorry about that.”

He is too good for me but I like playing against him because I know I will get a good game. A good game well played.

After a couple of sets we have a break. Unlike the cricketers we all sup together.  Without any opponents. We are all together. On the court we were divided into opposition and teammates.  Now we are all on the same side. I can’t even remember who my opponent was.

One lady talks about her grandchildren. She talks about them playing soccer at the weekend.  They will eventually play against my grandson.  Another lady talks about her art. Yesterday she was painting a watercolor of the mountain. I would love to see it.

One guy asked me about what film I saw this week. I tell him and say, “I would give it four stars. Go and see it.”

He tells me what other films the director has made and says, “Sounds like he is back in form. Hitting winners again after a period of bad play.”

We return to the tennis for our final sets. Different opponents and different partners.

I find myself receiving. The server throws the ball and hits it down the middle. I move my left foot towards the ball and swing my racket back. The racket thumps the ball and I watch the ball. Is it going where I wanted it to go?

Hopefully to his backhand. He doesn’t like it deep and bouncy to his backhand. If he returns it he will go across court and I will be ready for that.

The other lady we are playing always tries to lob me.   I stand further back from the net making it more difficult for her.

I find myself playing with a guy I love to beat. I resent his court behavior but accept it.  We are now playing together and doing our best to win. 

I want a good game. I want long rallies. I want rallies were everybody runs and jumps and moves. Rallies involving everybody. A rally were nobody knows who is going to win. I want games where nobody knows who is going to win. I want an even set where the result is always in doubt.

Set point is announced. They win. We shake hands and depart. We have all had physical and social exercise.

The professional cricketers are on a planet where winning, marketing and money are important. Luckily we are on a different planet. I can’t even remember if I won.  I always try to win and improve my play. Work on my weaknesses. I need to be more consistent on the deep backhand. I reckon somebody has spotted that weakness and is attacking it. I go home thinking I need to practice my deep backhand and feeling incredibly lucky that I can play sport without pressure. Nobody’s income depends on the result. The result will not be broadcast worldwide. And nobody has tampered with the ball.