The grandkids survey their food and think. Looks good. Just
what I want. Except for one thing. Where
is the tomato sauce?
A waitress hovers protectively.
Kay: “Tomato sauce.”
Grandfather Alan: “Can you please the waitress politely?”
Kay: “Please can I have some tomato sauce.”
Me: “That’s good. Perhaps you could take it a step further.
Perhaps you can educate her. Tell her that chips and tomato sauce taste really
nice together. Perhaps she will learn something. You will get to help her. Get
to make her life better.”
Kay: “You should eat tomato sauce with your chips.”
Bruce: “They are my favourite food.”
Bruce: “Hands up if you like chips.”
They all put their hands up. Without hesitation.
Now I can say: “Hands up if you have your hands up.”
They look at each other and think shall I humour the old
man.
I then say: “Hands up if you like potato.”
No hands go up.
I tell them that chips are made from potato and they all
think: We know chips are made from potato. We know chips taste better than
potato. Everybody knows that except old men. Which means more chips for us.
The waitress returns with some tomato sauce and says: “I
will try tomato sauce and chips. Sounds good.”
I look at the clean tables, sugar shakers, the expectant
chairs, the indoor plants and ask them do you remember the last time you came
here.
Bruce: “I am here when I was a baby.”
I then say: “Well when was that?
Bruce: “Last week.”
I could attempt to educate him but he is distracted by my
plate.
Bruce: “Look grandfather has finished his food. He was
racing.”
Grandfather Alan: “I was not racing. Take your time. Eat
slowly and enjoy your food.”
Bruce: “There is food on your face. You have smashed food on
your face. You should put it in your mouth not on your face.”
Kay: “I will get you a tissue.”
She is up and prowling the glass food display cabinet
holding homemade cakes and muffins. On
the counter are some bottles full of water and a pile of tissues. She grabs a
tissue and brings it back to our table.
Kay: “Wipe your face. And be careful next time you eat.
Don’t rush.”
I wipe my face.
I am happy. They are embarrassed in public by a dirty
retired old man’s face. They care about the old man. They care enough about me
to tell me off.
I don’t like the subject of dirty faces so I say: “That is a
long chip.”
Kay covers it in sauce and slowly sucks it to death.
Kay: “Chips are my favourite food.”
I say: “What about chicken?”
Kay: “Chicken is my favourite food.”
I don’t know how many favourite foods she has. I know she
has three best friends but my eyes wander to the staff in the kitchen. They are
active, busy, bending, stirring, decorating plates and preparing more favorite
food.
