Chapter 120: How do you raise a champion?

How do you raise a champion?

I feel I am partially qualified to add an addendum to the article by Ian Cole. The reason being one of my children won several Paralympic medals. Once she was named as Tasmanian Sportswoman of the year. In 2005 she was inducted into the Tasmanian Sporting Hall of Fame. 

I will start at the beginning.

We wanted all of our children to have good lives. They were all different and unique. When Melissa was born others classified her as physically handicapped or disabled.

Our aim was to treat all our kids the same. We never gave Melissa special treatment. We never discriminated for or against her or any of her siblings. 

We always had to fight other people’s attitudes. We had to fight people discriminating in favour of Melissa. I remember a parent teacher interview. My aim was to find ways of helping her with her maths.  The teacher’s interests were elsewhere. He said, “She is very brave.”

We constantly had to fight for her to be treated as normal. I loved it when people said to me, “She’s just normal.”

Our aims for all children was the same. We wanted all of them to be physically, emotionally, socially, intellectually healthy and happy.  We wanted them to be well balanced. We wanted an excess of balance.

We gave them healthy food. We provided housing and clothes.

We sent them to one of the local schools so they could learn to read and write.

We wanted them all to have friends. To learn to interact socially with other people.

We wanted and encouraged extra school activities. To help them develop physically, emotionally and socially. With our children we were dragged in disparate directions for mysterious reasons.

When Melissa was young we lived in a warm climate. Swimming pools were a big part of the community. It quickly became obvious that she enjoyed swimming. That swimming was her thing. She enjoyed it. It was impossible to get her out of the pool. Swimming she could glide quietly and gracefully. In the pool she wasn’t awkward or clumsy.

Once swimming became her thing we thought she might as well do it as well as possible. Every child involved in any sport/hobby wants to be as good as possible.  With all of our children and all of their activities we always wanted them to do them properly and as well as possible.

Swimming led to swimming coaching, swimming training, swimming clubs; swimming friends. The swimming coach led to learning the basics of training and tactics and competitions.  Ultimately it led to international competitions, medals and publicity.

It’s well know that I saw the Paralympics as another example of not treating her as a normal person. To be avoided. Under pressure from everybody I changed my mind. I saw a future were Melissa would swim in the paralympics and against able bodied swimmers. She could do both.

My aim with my children has never been to win medals or win Wimbledon or play AFL or play BBL. I never began with the end in mind. I never thought that in order to achieve certain goals I needed to tick certain boxes. I never thought the prize was worth any cost. . I see emphasizing the end leads to a lack of balance. It leds to the sports people we love to hate.

I always thought the journey was more important than the end. The journey involves learning how to lead balanced lives.  Learning how to be physically, socially, emotionally and intellectually healthy and happy.  

When medals happen they happen. Accept them. Be grateful and happy and enjoy them.

At present I have four children and four grandchildren. I see them all as champions. Melissa deserves a medal for her work at the YMCA. Some of my grandkids deserve medals for their long jumping on Wednesday evening on the Domain.