Chapter 34 : A final appointment

Thursday it is a cold rainy confusing day. Today is the appointment with the neurologist. I have written out some questions on a piece of paper. I think what I have written covers the main topics. I put the paper and a pen in my bag. I check the pen. It works. We will drive there because the weather is what you call unpredictable. That means the newspaper say it could rain. That means we go and look at the sky. Doesn’t look like rain. At the moment. Bit confusing.

Lorna is coming with me. She insists. She says that many times she has spoken to DJ. She knows what I am like. She has lived with me for thirty years. She knows what has changed.  When I first visited hospital I was unconscious so the Doctor had no choice. He had to speak to someone. He spoke to her. What they talked about I don’t know. I have been told various things but basically what I have been told relates to other people and other times. I can’t conclude anything.  She says DJ will want to speak to her to ask her how I am progressing.

And as I wait for my appointment I think about what a difficult job he has. After someone has had a stroke he has to mop up the mess. He has to tell the family what they may or may not already know. He has to manage a patient when there is no magic pill which cures the patient.  He has to manage a patient with a tool box short of what he needs. 

For him seeing me should be a high point of the day. Someone who has got better. He can say He got better because of me. He can give himself the credit. He can feel good about himself. Depends how you look at it. I have slowly recovered.   It could be luck or it could be him. He has provided me with a bed in hospital and then sat back and done nothing.  Well not completely nothing. And knowing when to do nothing is a skill. If I have got better it is more due to rest or luck than him.  He shouldn’t feel too responsible. If he does feel responsible then he will also feel responsible when people don’t get better.

 

Immediately we enter DJ’s room, things are different. There is an absence of stress or anxiety or rushing around. We are shown exactly what we were hoping to see. I will be briefly summarize what I think he said.

Diagnosis: Did I fall hard and damage my brain secondarily? OR Did some pathology in the brain change cause me to fall? Can’t answer the question. 

Recovery: Don’t go SCUBA diving or climb MT Everest. Avoid high blood pressure. Avoid blood thinners such as aspirin.  If possible avoid blows to the head.

   

Medications:  harmless and provide a bit of security.  Sooner or later you have to come off them.  Perhaps two years with no seizures. Or twelve months. Sooner or later you have to try coming off them and see what happens. If going overseas, flying, or doing stressful things best to stay on the medications. 

Other things: Marathons. He said you could go for it but you need to build up slowly and plan ahead.

Results: Lumbar puncture showed normal levels for everything. MRI showed decrease in size of hemorrhages and no new hemorrhages. The results make pathology unlikely. Going by the results the most likely is I fell hard damaging my brain secondarily. Most likely is an intra-cerebral hemorrhage due to trauma. He doesn’t embrace this idea because he can’t conceive of a man of 60 falling and causing damage located where it was and severe as it was.

He doesn’t seem concerned that he can’t finalize the diagnosis. He seems to prefer to celebrate my recovery and the absence of obvious pathology.  He is on the same page as me. Who cares what caused my incidence. It’s getting better, not causing any permanent problems and unlikely to return. Let’s celebrate.  He did finish by talking about a follow up MRI in twelve months.  Just to make sure but I go with members of my family and we have a nice celebratory lunch and talk about grandchildren and shacks.