Chapter 242 : making bread

We live in interesting times. In these interesting times I sometimes find myself with routine and commonplace responsibilities.  Like looking after grandchildren.

My goals today are to try and educate my grandchildren and avoid other people. I want them to learn something useful. I will be a fake, copy of a real teacher.

I wait for a brief pause in their chattering and say: Today’s lesson will be making bread.

They are ecstatic. We measure out five cups of flour. Mainly whole grain flour with a smidgen of gluten flour. I place 500 ml of water in the microwave for about 40 seconds. I guide them as they add a tablespoon of dry yeast, a tablespoon of sugar and a teaspoon of salt to the tepid water.  

They can now do something they love. Mixing ingredients. They continue whisking as I add a couple of teaspoons of olive oil.  They then pour the liquid into the flour and stir it with a knife. We have to get the right consistency.  We want a ball of dough that we can knead.  If it’s too wet then we will have to dip the ball of dough into flour. If the dough is too dry then we will have to add water.

We finally get the dough at what I think is the right consistency.  It is now time to knead. The kids love kneading. Well so do I. We help each other to knead the dough.  We roll and roll the dough until it starts to develop some elasticity.  So that it hangs together. I ask them to imagine bubble gum bread. After about ten minutes we place the dough in a bowl. On top we place some glad wrap and a tea towel.

I ask them were should we put the bowl. They suggest in the sunlight where I normally put it. Time for a quick science lesson. I talk about the yeast. An organism that lives and grows in the dough. Yeast lives in water. It grows bigger and bigger then divides. The temperature of the water affects the speed at which this occurs. Yeast eats sugar and gives off gas as a by-product. The gas forms bubbles causing the dough to become bigger. They think the idea of eating food followed by gas hilarious.  

A few hours later I say: Time to attack the dough.  

We punch it, assault it and knock all the gas out of it. They find the idea of removing gas by punching is very funny. I now divide and separate the dough.

Kay says: Her piece is bigger than mine.

I immediately give her a bit of flour from my lump.  We all knead our lumps of dough. None of their finished lumps look perfectly symmetrical and neat. They all look better. Homemade and unique.

The lesson continues with art.  I ask them to make their roll look beautiful. Decorate your roll. They all put their initials on their roll.  One adds sesame seeds. The other adds poppy seeds and an almond.

Kay says to me: Why don’t you put your initials on your loaf?

Gertrude says: He doesn’t know how to. He’s brain damaged.

I ask them to, without playing, find a tray and a tin. They put their rolls on the tray and I put my loaf in the tin. We now wait for the dough to rise for a second time. When it doubles in size, we can cook it. I open the hot oven and carefully watch as they place the tray in the oven. I ask them to look at the clock and tell me where the big hand will be in twenty minutes.

The lesson continues with a new topic: Why does a loaf of bread take longer to cook than a smaller roll? We discuss this and after twenty minutes I ask them to stand back as I take out the rolls.  

The lesson continues with plating up of food.

I ask them: What do you want on your bread?

Gertrude knows that she always has margarine on her roll. Kay knows that she always has honey and jam on her roll. They both know how to prepare their roll correctly. The lesson finishes when they eat their freshly cooked and buttered roll. They pass with honours.