Chapter 282: Are we there yet?

Grandmother says: Before you get in the car go to the toilet.

In the car the grandkids are told to sit quietly. Don’t move squirm or fiddle. Be passive. Watch the passing world. Look without comment. Don’t annoy us. Sit still.

I adjust the aircon; adjust the radio; adjust my seat. It’s warm in the car. I take my jumper off.  I lean back and watch the road sweep up between the rolling hills. Kay says: I need the toilet.

The next town appears and our car slides to a stop. We all fall out of the warm car. We wander around hoping to stumble upon a public toilet.

Kay: I’m cold.

We return to the car for her jumper.

Bruce runs non-stop. Attacking every badie he sees on the path ahead. He runs, twists and spins around poles.  He swings a sword.

Back in the car:

Kay: How much longer?

Grandfather: Now everybody together. Can you all say. How much longer? All say it together.

Grandkids: How much longer?

Grandfather: That’s good. This time sing it. How much longer? Are we there yet?

The grandkids sing together.

Grandfather: Very good. Bit soft though. Next time louder with actions. Put your head on your hands and raise your eyebrows. Now all together.  

Grandfather:  Now we have the chorus. How much longer? Are we there yet? We need a verse.  What else can we say?

I see many confused faces.

Grandfather: We need a verse about sitting in the car. We need a verse about where we are at the moment. About the road curving past sheep and cows. We need a verse about what is happening now. About what you are thinking?

Grandfather: What words? How would this verse go? What are you thinking?

They all look confused and unsure of what to say. No sound from their mouths so I have to read their minds.

Their minds say: Now we have to say a verse to make grandfather happy. Another thing to keep grandfather happy. Grandfather sure needs a lot of looking after.

Grandmother’s mind says: You’re more annoying than the kids.

Kay: I’m thirsty.

Bruce: How much longer?