Reunion

 

I graduated from Melbourne University in 1979 as a real life dentist.

 

Thirty years later we had a reunion. I was lucky enough to give a small speech. I was even luckier to keep a copy.  This is it:

 

I would like to begin by thanking the organizing committee

A few years ago, I was talking to JC about referring patients.  He mentioned all the people he referred to and they were all his old class mates. I told him that was nonsense you should refer to the best person for each patient. Each patient was different. He said it was much easier to pick up the phone and talk to these people. Communication was easier. He was right. In the trenches at uni there is a bond forged.  

This is why I am here tonight. Because of that bond. 

 

We flew over here. Which reminds me of a joke.

 

A general dentist and an orthodontist find themselves sitting next to each other on a plane. The orthodontist thinks we might as well try and be friends. I’ll offer to go up and get this guy a drink.

The minute he goes the general dentist grabs the headphones and changes the channel and then turns the volume up to maximum.

The orthodontist returns and gives the drink to the general dentist. They drink together, chat and then settle down to relax.

The orthodontist puts on his headphones and then turns to his mate and says,” When are we ever going to get on? When are we are going to stop playing games with each other. Playing with the radios and spitting in the drinks.”

 

 

As we were coming her tonight, I had to prepare my wife.

I had to try and explain why B, B and C don’t have first names.  They all called by their surnames.

I had to try and explain why when we got to choose a research group in final year everybody in my group had a surname starting with B or C. It was because we were always seated alphabetical. From B to Z.

 

Did I achieve my aim?

35 years ago, I sat in an incredibly steep lecture theatre, furiously scribbling on a note pad, staring at the revolving blackboards and wondering,” What has this got to do with dentistry?”

I had two aims. To pass the next assignment and to have my own dental practice. Actually, it was three but my wife sits over there. 

 

Would I do the same again?

The best way to answer this is:

Would you recommend your own child do dentistry?

One of my daughters said to me,” Can I talk to you?”

I said, “Sure.”

My daughter said, “I’m thinking of doing dentistry. Can you tell me the good things about dentistry? Why should I do dentistry?”

That was my chance. I told her all about dentistry. What it involved. Why it was good. Why I enjoyed it. Why she should consider it.

A day later she came to me and said, “I’ve decided to do something else.”

 

As we were coming her tonight I had to prepare my wife. She’s the one with marginal staining on a cervical abrasive cavity in the 24.

Tell her what she can say. Mention the children doing well at Uni. No mention of lack of academic success. She may be doing very happy and enjoy her life but we don’t mention her.

Yes you can mention our grandchildren. That’s alright. But not all bloody night.

 

I was just confirming what she could and couldn’t say when I realised that’s she going to hear a lot of stories.  So, I had to go and deny everything she might hear. None of what you hear tonight is true. It never happened.  

 

I had to explain to my wife the difference between specialise or generalise.  Some people have fixed on their specialty in kindergarten. Others fell into a specialty.  For some of us it is incredibly important.  Not for her.

 

How many specialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One but he needs a general dentist to tell him what the problem is.

Or alternatively none. He gets his receptionist to change it.

 

The other big question:  Am I successful?

My wife thinks a successful practice is one where:

 

The dentist buys a piece of equipment and never uses it.

A patient urinates into the spittoon?

The patient bites the dentist’s finger and the dentist feints onto the floor of the surgery.

The dentist has so many different composite systems on the go at once the nurses are permanently confused.

A patient gets trapped in the toilet and the dentist crashes the door to break the lock.

 

All around me I see people who achieved a lot or succeeded in general practice, academically; in research; private specialist practice; in administration; parenting and other non-dental areas.

You have achieved lot in the last 30 years. Be proud.

Tonight is a night to renew old friendships. Make new friends. 

And, please, don’t forget the absent people.

If you meet them extend hand of friendship. They may need it.

Thank you for listening.

 

Enjoy yourselves.

 

Alan Carlton