Sunday, 26 July 2020

Chapter 260: My super power lets me down.

Me: I am so lucky.

One grandkid immediately says the right thing: Why is that?

Me: I’m going to the sushi train for dinner tonight. I’m going to eat some fantastic food.

Gertrude: So am I. I am also going to the sushi train.

Me: You are lucky. Like me.

Gertrude: But you are luckier than me.

Me: Why is that?

Gertrude: You get to talk to me.

Me: You are right. I get to talk to you and you are stuck listening to a retired old fart. You are luckier.

 

In the restaurant I talk to Gertrude:

Me: Do you like being Gertrude?

Gertrude: No.

Me: Why not?

Gertrude: You pushed me away from the fire.

Me: Yes. I am proud of that. I would do that again.

Gertrude: You pushed me.

Me: I don’t want you to get burnt.

 

This topic needs to vanish. I must raise another topic.

Me: Tell me what you did today.

Gertrude: Nothing.

Me: What did you do before doing nothing?

Gertrude: Nothing.

Me: And after. What did you do after doing nothing?

Gertrude: Nothing.

Me: You are right. Nothing all day. You are an expert at doing nothing. You must have been practicing.

 

I have a super power. The ability to read grandkids minds. Bruce dreams of eating another piece of sushi.

Me: Go for it. Have some sushi.

Bruce says: I can’t.

Me: You can. If you feel like it then eat it.

Bruce: I am saving space for an ice cream.

Me: I always manage to have room for dessert. Even when I eat too much.

Bruce: I am not eating too much. I am saving space for an ice cream.  

 

My super power has let me down. It didn’t tell me the full story.

It has resulted in me behaving worse than my grandkids.


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