Chapter 15 : How do you treat a sick person?

Anne (my sister) and Dennis (her husband) visit me. First day I do what people in Hobart always do. I took them to MONA. MONA is full of beautiful people from interstate.  I have spoken to many people who told me they work at MONA. None of them are visible.  No friendly faces amongst the staff. 

We wander amongst the beautiful buildings full of big ideas about death and life. My little thoughts are insignificant relative to all the big thoughts from big important artists.  We are surrounded by high fluting big ideas. My brain is spinning with all the big ideas. Overwhelmed.

MONA inspires us to talk about big things in a serious fashion. I have just come out of hospital which is full of sick people. That’s serious. What is that like?  How do you behave with sick people?  We approach this topic and skirt around it but eventually Anne asks a big question.

Anne: What is your reaction to somebody who is sick? To somebody who has Stage 4 cancer undergoing chemotherapy. How do you treat them?

ME: I would do the obvious thing.

Anne: What’s that?

ME: I would speak to the partner. They are always ignored. They have to do a lot of extra work. They always get ignored. They have uncertainty to live with. They get blamed for everything, ignored.  All cards, letters, presents, visitors visit the sick one. Nothing for the carer.

Anne; What can you do about that?

ME: I would make a point of speaking to the carer. Ask them, “How you going?”

ME: I would ask them about their unique life. Ask them what they are doing, what they are interested in. what their aims are? You have to treat them as a unique individuals not as an appendage to the sick person. Not as half a sick person. I also don’t have to state the obvious which is don’t ignore the sick person.  You need to be able to speak to two people at once. Not one at the expense of the other.