Chapter 6. Information

The nurses have spoken to my daughters (I don’t know when or where) and they have all agreed that the injection I need will be given to me each morning.  First thing in the morning a nurse enters and says, “Which side?” and then complains that it is too sticky. 

The injection is into the lower abdomen (let’s call it the stomach) and doesn’t hurt.  That is followed by a tablet and a glass of water to wash it down with. At this stage nobody has told me why I am in hospital and what the medication is for. That is not something that is relevant. They are preoccupied with other things. Such as not getting into trouble by doing the wrong thing. A chart says give this patient IM injection every morning. Now do it. It doesn’t say tell him anything.

One morning when she is injecting I behave like a mortal enemy of western civilization, the most evil nasty person imagined, and ask her “What is that for?”

“To prevent strokes.”

“I’m not going to have a stroke.”

“That’s because we are preventing them.”

“I’ve never had a stroke.”

She ignores that comment and looks at the tablet and the glass of water.

“You have to take your tablet. I’m watching you. Make sure you take it.”

She places the tablet on my tongue.

“Now swallow it.”

I make a few pretend swallowing movements and push the tablet under my tongue.  She then grabs my head and says, “Let’s see what you have done. Open your mouth.”

I open my mouth and the tablet is not visible. It is hidden under the tongue. She says good and then goes. Now I have to get rid of this tablet which is killing me. I head for the toilet.

I am moving very slowly.  Whenever I rise or move or try to move my thinking is very slow. This afternoon there will be another tablet. I can see it coming and it’s going to kill me. It slows you down so much your life is not worth living.

Since I have been here I have never seen a doctor. It’s only the nurses. No doctor has ever told me what tablet I need and why. I am beginning to think doctors don’t exist. They are just a rumor created to try and frighten people.  Instead we have nurses who inject me with stuff that is destroying me. Stuff they will not talk about. The last time I asked a question I was told. “You are always fixated about the same old thing. These tablets are preventing strokes. Get used to it. We are trying to help you. Do you really think we go to all the trouble of giving you something that is bad for you? Are we that type of person? We are here to help you. Okay.”

Alan: please note that I am not anti-medication. I am not telling anybody to stop taking their medication. What I am saying is you should be told what you are taking and why. You should be informed.