Postcard from Litchfield

Bus driver: Drink lots of water. I don’t want anybody dehydrating. We have water in the bus. It is double filtered and then filtered again.

We arrive at a beautiful little pool.

Bus driver: I’ll give you 45minutes. Be back at 11:30.

I take a few photos. I do not take any photos of a lady banding over in her skimpy bikinis. I do not take photos of a lady adjusting the bum crack in her floral bathers.

Back on the bus the bus driver counts the numbers. Two short.

I reckon it was the two we passed on our way back to the bus heading away from the bus.

Driver: last week I had a couple who had their own timetable. I said it’s a short walk up this hill and back. Take 5 minutes. They didn’t return. I walked back up the hill. They had decided to take another track because it looked good. Everybody’s different. Thank god for that. Life would be very boring if we were all alike.

We sit and wait on the bus for two. When they turn up, they are going to receive cheers. Nobody on the bus is upset or complaining. It’s cool on the bus and hot and steaming outside.

We wait in the bus. Angry comments begin to bubble to the surface.

The driver paces around outside the bus. He is impotent. We wait on.

Driver: I’m expecting to see two very exhausted hot bothered running to the bus. I will give them a swift kick.

The two arrive: Sorry.

Everybody in the bus claps and cheers. Good heartedly. No bad feelings.