Postcard from Kakadu

Wait for the bus with another lady. She is excited about what she saw yesterday.

Waiting for bus lady: I saw the jumping crocodiles. Wow you should have seen it.

The bus arrives. We board and sit.

 

Driver: I must mention the safety rules. In the unlikely event of an accident there is a hammer. Use it to break the window glass. There is a toilet. Use it in an emergency. If you need to go to the toilet, it is an emergency.

We stop for morning tea.

 

Bus driver: There are some old crocs, pigs in mud, some buffalo and old tractors. You are part of a group. Don’t wander around look at the animals and then say I’ve still got to go the toilet and get a drink. Toilet, drinks then animals. That’s the rules.

 

Back on the bus the driver talks: I’m a territorian we don’t have rules and regulations. We do what we want when we want if it doesn’t upset others.

 

No license needed for a boat. We are tough in the top end.

 

Back on the bus the driver drives and then realises he forgot something.

 

Driver: I’ve got to stop the bus and do a count. Have I left anybody behind?

 

No, he hasn’t.

 

Driver: Speed limit is 130 kays. Very unlucky to be caught. Straight level roads. No cars. No police patrolling.

 

In Kakadu the rock art is very predictable.

 

Tourists: How old is the rock art?

 

Tourist: How did they do the ones up high?

 

Tourist: Amazing they are so old.

 

Lunch is a smorgasbord. A queue of people. A pile of plates. A row of hot food. The first pot looks good. I’ll have a bit of that. I shuffle down and the next pot of food looks good. I’ll add a bit of that. I approach the end pot. That looks even better. Must have some of that. Pile a bit of that on top. My plate is a gigantic pyramid of unrelated food.

 

After getting my money’s worth I aim for a coffee machine. Which button do I press? What do these symbols mean? This holiday is a big learning experience. Showers, microwaves, air-conditioners and now this coffee machine.

 

Kakadu cruise: We see the big one. A crocodile sunning himself. Many birds. Plants stretching for miles and miles. 

 

Bus trip back the driver is back on his favourite topic.

 

Bus driver: In the NT no license to drive a boat. No testing of alcohol limit in a boat. No life jackets. As many people as you want in the boat. How cool is that?

 

You can get drunk and drive a boat at speed without a life jacket. You will think you are in heaven.

 

The trip back is very tiring. Doing nothing except watching the road unwind ahead of us.

 

Bus driver: Most of the aboriginals wandering the streets in Darwin have misbehaved and have kicked out of their traditional areas.

 

All laws broken involve men and women or alcohol. Not stealing. Nobody owns anything. Everything shared.